In case you haven’t joined the abbreviation brigade, VIP stands for ‘very important person’. But we’re not talking about Hollywood celebrities (many of whom are famous just for being famous); we’re talking about people like you and me.
“[The] most important person in your life is you,” writes Eduard Ezeanu in VIP Lifestyle. “How you live and how happy you are, represent central themes of your existence. If you aren’t treating them as such, it’s time you started to. This is what makes you, for yourself, a very important person.”
While everyone’s definition of a VIP lifestyle is unique, it typically means having the time and money to do what’s meaningful and fun. That’s something we can and should aim for: “Whatever your answer, this lifestyle is possible for you. Ordinary people, all over the world, are proving this right now, by living the lives of their dreams.”
Since we spend so much time interacting with other people, creating the VIP lifestyle requires us to communicate and relate in an effective way. It’s about building strong people skills so our interactions are a solid bridge and not a big wall.
Not Letting Others Push You Around
“The majority of people sacrifice their own needs, their enjoyment and their lifestyle, to get scraps of approval from others. Then when they do get them, they think it’s such a big deal that they call this having good relationships.”
Other people can exploit your ‘resources’ without offering appropriate value in exchange or make you repress part of your authentic self. That’s not good and shouldn’t be allowed. Yes, there are times when we must generously think of others before we think of ourselves. But we should never bend over backwards to make other people happy because we think there’s no choice.
The goal is to create healthy boundaries; not so rigid that you never compromise whatsoever but not so loose that people walk over you at will: “Boundaries are not about controlling other people. That is impossible. Boundaries are about creating fair relationships and setting rules which encourage people to treat you in a positive, respectful manner. This way, you take another big step forward towards your ultimate lifestyle.”
Take the time to figure out what you want, what you like, what matters, etc. Knowing yourself and your core values lets you see where you’ve let other people take advantage of you as well as where boundaries need to be set. When communicating the relevant boundaries to the relevant people, make sure you’re clear and concise so there’s no room for misinterpretation. Most importantly, make sure you consistently enforce the boundaries you’ve set so people learn that certain actions always have certain consequences. Kapeesh?
Promoting Yourself in a Powerful Way
“By not promoting yourself when the context is right, you miss a lot of great opportunities. While by promoting yourself when the context is wrong, you come off as desperate, needy and you pointlessly damage your relationships with other people.”
To get the most you must give the most. But it’s not enough to be the best if other people don’t know you’re the best or even what you’re offering in the first place: “Effectively promoting yourself is what attracts the interest of other people in what you have to offer, on a personal or professional level.”
Developing strong self-knowledge of your strengths can be done by introspectively observing results from your behaviour, getting feedback from others, or taking a personality test. Knowing what you have to offer and what makes you special gives you a new level of confidence.
The next step is to sell yourself as best as you can when the time and place is right. Get comfortable showing people that what you have is what they need. Use results and recommendations to act as proof that backs up your big claims. Most importantly, talk from their perspective so they are clear about the benefits for them. Unlike with Hollywood VIPs, it’s not always about you.
If you enjoyed this post, please remember to Like, Tweet, and Share it using the links at the top or bottom of the page. And remember to subscribe to free alerts or follow me on Twitter to be notified when the next instalment is released. For more on the subject, read my review of Triggers of Mind Control.